All the Feels

This past Friday, I took our oldest son to get his first COVID-19 vaccine. We had an appointment, and after waiting in a short line, he was seated and answering the routine questions before I even had a chance to fully understand what was happening. The nurse asked Patrick to flex his left arm and then relax it. As she injected him with the vaccine, I started to tear up. 

It has been a year, one that has been overwhelming and challenging on the one hand, with precious gifts and unexpected joys on the other. I will admit that it's been an emotional roller coaster, and I've found myself closer to tears in unexpected moments, like when My Son got his first vaccination. In other moments, the laughter has been so emphatic, as we gathered for the first time in person as a Leadership Team on Monday, May 10. 

I am a man that has always been comfortable crying, learning that lesson at a young age when my maternal grandfather passed away from cancer when I was in third grade. The message in my home growing up was everyone cries, regardless of their gender. It's the message in the home we're raising our two boys in as well. 

It's not only a personal commitment I make; it's a professional commitment as well. I promise all the students in the St. Johnsbury School District that our building is a place where everyone can feel safe, welcome, and included. No strings attached. No qualifications. No exceptions. 

As I think back on my own education, I easily recall the names and faces of my teachers. Not necessarily the content. I wrote about one teacher in particular in May of last year, when we connected almost twenty-five years after I was a student in her class. I didn't write about what Ms. Helfer taught me; I wrote about how I felt in her classroom. I'm not suggesting that we relax in any way our commitment to the Vermont Education Quality Standards. I can tell you, though, that if we ignore the importance of relationships in any year, let alone one with a global health pandemic, we are not providing our students with the fullest education possible. 

While I was interviewing a teaching candidate for an open position in our district this past week, this person asked me what I was proudest of as the Superintendent in St. Johnsbury. There were so many places I could go with that answer, and after a moment of reflection, I landed on the reality that we meet our students where they are and help them grow and learn from there. In this case, the emphasis on relationships means a greater level of expectations, not less. By knowing our students as well as our faculty and staff do, we are able to know what they are capable of, and if they're not meeting their potential, we know something is amiss. 

The emphasis on relationships makes us expect more, not less. The emphasis on relationships makes us stronger, not softer. The emphasis on relationships welcomes the whole child, not just the student. 

The gendered world we live in does not always honor the tears of boys or men. Countless derogatory names are used when men cry. And while I don't think for one second that this blog post will put a dent in that, I do want to state unequivocally that being somewhat emotionally intelligent has made me a better human, a better husband, a better daddy, and a better superintendent. I still have a ways to go, and at the same time, I'm proud to serve with people who prioritize the emotional needs of our students before the content they teach. 

When I think back to all those teachers I could name from my early years in education, there are a few things I know for certain. I know their names. I am fairly certain I could recognize their faces. Besides the grade they each taught, I don't have a strong sense of what content I learned with them. I do know Mr. B taught us a unit on Greece, but that's because there's a picture of me somewhere in a toga. And I know Ms. Sweeney taught us how to write a thesis paper when I was a junior in high school. 

But there's something I remember so much more than what they taught me. 

I remember how they made me feel. 

Photo courtesy of @HelpATeacher