When It's Too Much

We've endured several deaths in the EGPS Family since the middle of November. The Zimmer family has a sibling at Cole. Dr. Michelle Casey, a special educator at Cole, lost her husband, Ryan. Our Director of Technology, Dr. Steven Arnoff, passed away the day after Thanksgiving. And last Friday, Bob Houghtaling died after a brief illness. 

That is a lot for a small, tight-knit community like East Greenwich to handle in less than a month's time. Even one person passing away would be a lot. This is four in less than four weeks. It feels like a lot, and I've only been a part of this community for eighteen months. 

I ache for the Zimmer family losing a child. I am stunned that Michelle Casey will raise her family without her husband. I miss my thought partner, Dr. Arnoff. We scrambled this weekend in the wake of Bob's death because he was who we would turn to in a moment like his passing. 

For me, it feels like too much. It's OK to say it feels like too much if it feels like too much. It's not an either-or situation. It's both-and. I saw this post by Jimmy Casas (@casas_jimmy), and it really resonated: 

Photo courtesy of Jimmy Casas

I wrote earlier this month about how we need to be especially kind to each other during this holiday season. While we know the four families that have lost loved ones are certainly hurting, we don't know who else is. There are no signs around our necks warning others that we're grieving or in pain. 

We don't have a diagram of the tapestry of ways that Owen Zimmer touched the hearts of those in his world. I can only imagine how many people are still feeling the reverberations of Ryan Casey's death, simply based on how many were in Our Lady of Mercy on Monday, November 27, at 10:00. Dr. Arnoff's thankless leadership ensured that our technology was ready when we were. Bob worked with a myriad of young people and their families, talking about things that, at times, were open secrets and topics that were known only to him and the young person he was working with. 

And we know that each death picks at the scab of the previous one we were healing from. 

East Greenwich is hurting. I think that's fair to say. Let's recommit to each other's humanity and recognize that for the foreseeable future, we need to be better to each other. We need to give the benefit of the doubt. We need to give each other grace. We need to find it in our hearts to be kind. 

If only that others will give it back to us. It is too much.