We Can Do Both

I sometimes get stuck in either/or thinking. You know, the kind where you make snap judgments, categorize things based on that quick thinking, and never look back. It's a part of the human experience. This kind of thinking is easy to fall into. 

I start a sentence with, "Broadly speaking..." and then make a generalization that seems appropriate given the circumstances or the person. It happens fast, and I'm guilty of categorizing someone or something incorrectly if I'm not careful. I can give you an example. 

As I looked at the teams and athletes remaining this weekend in the National Football League, I did not think about how much or how little relationships mattered to them. These men are fierce competitors, in peak physical condition, getting paid obnoxious amounts of money to play a game. Broadly speaking, they're multi-millionaires, and they don't care who they step on, on their way to the top. 

Then I listened to an episode of ESPN Daily this week, produced by one of my dear friends from college. It was an episode about Patrick Mahomes, the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback, largely considered one of the best in the NFL. I learned that he almost chose another sport instead of football. I learned that he split plays as a high school quarterback with another player. I learned that this player, Ryan Cheatham, is still one of Mahomes' best friends; to this day. Mahomes and Cheatham battled for the starting position on their high school football team until they were juniors when Mahomes was finally named the number one quarterback. 

Since I was not much of an athlete myself, one of the many reasons I love to officiate, I tend to think of professional athletes as having a "killer" instinct on the field. Things like "win at all costs" ring in my ears when I think of what it takes to make it to the elite levels of sports. That doesn't match the reality that Patrick Mahomes remained such good friends with Ryan Cheatham that he was a groomsman at Mahomes' wedding. Evidence of my either/or thinking. 

I've been the subject of that thinking as a superintendent. I regularly write about, emphasize, and put relationships first. I try in both my words and actions to humanize the people I serve with so that the people I serve with can humanize others, all in the name of excellence in education. In the course of my educational leadership career, showing empathy was judged as "soft." Telling employees to put family first was deemed "naive." And in one instance, when an employee was given a second chance, I was regarded as stooping to "low expectations." Evidence of other people's either/or thinking. 

We fail to honor the humanity of others when we fall into this pattern. We shortchange the possibilities, capabilities, and potential of others when we do this. We pigeonhole people unnecessarily and wait for them to surprise us. 

I do it. You do it. We all do it. 

We can do better. 

We can do both. 

Photo courtesy of www.idlehearts.com

Going Slow

I have been a fan of NPR for many years, especially the weekly news quiz, "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me." One of my fondest memories of the COVID pandemic was having Our Boys in the car with me, listening and naming as many of the regular employees Peter Sagal honors at the end of the show. I love the comedians on the panel, the regular quiz segments, and listening to people tell their stories. However, one of the things I love the most is the quirky news items that are shared. On the January 14 episode, I learned of a grocery store in the Netherlands with an option most people often don't choose: to go slowly. Let me explain. 

Beginning in 2019, the Jumbo supermarket chain and the Ministry of Health, Welfare, and Sport created "Kletskassa," or in English, "chat checkouts." This was done to counter loneliness and the adverse effects that come with it among their shoppers. These lanes operate slower and encourage conversation between the cashier and the patrons without worrying that those behind will be annoyed at the delay. While the program is aimed at senior citizens, anyone can participate. 

What a concept! An effort and honest-to-goodness communication, conversation, and relationships. Something focused and geared directly toward deeper interpersonal connection. I offer that this is something desperately needed in 2023. 

I'm as guilty as anyone. I just got back from grocery shopping with My Wife. I chose the shortest line, even though there was no bagger at the end. Why? We needed to get back to unload the groceries before we turned around to go to the soccer game for our youngest son. Why didn't we go earlier? We were hosting one of our oldest's friends for a sleepover. Who has the time? 

And, when we don't make the time, it will slip through our fingers. Like sand on a beach. Despite our best efforts, once time is lost, it is gone to never be recovered. We cannot get it back. 

But we can make the time. We can choose to go slower. We can choose to have the extra conversation. We can choose to stop and ask the meaningful question. We can make those choices. We can choose relationships, over everything else. Below is an exchange I had on Twitter recently, with someone I've never met in person: 

I've been teaching since 1996, and thanks to the reality of social media, I'm still in touch with many of my former students. We have sporadic interactions. At times I note that in my mind, they are in the very same classroom seat they occupied when I was there teacher. How can you have children of your own, is a question I often ask. I marvel at what they are doing with their lives, and they can't believe that I have children of my own, and how they've grown. 

Not once have we talked about test scores. Not once have we talked about outcomes. Not once have we talked about grades. Not. One. Single. Time. 

One of my former principals would often remind us at leadership meetings that we have to go slow to go fast, because if we don't we will leave someone behind. There is so much wisdom in that. We are better together. 

Please join me this week in being intentionally slower. Making time for the people in our world, personally and professionally. Before we know it, this week will be done and we'll be onto the next. 

Slowly, let's together honor the gift of time. 

Photo courtesy of www.hemma.ca

Itty Bitty Kitty Corn

When I was a brand new superintendent, I had a mentor. My mentor was an experienced superintendent, largely considered to have been the youngest ever in the state of Vermont. At the time, I was told that I was the third youngest in the Green Mountain State. My mentor was wonderful, sharing all kinds of wisdom that could only have been gained by doing the job itself. One of the many, many lessons I still follow to this day is to block out my Friday afternoons for classroom and school visits. 

This past Friday, I made my way to Frenchtown Elementary School and wandered into Mrs. McCann's first-grade classroom. First-grade classrooms will always be close to my heart, as the last time I was a full-time teacher, I taught first grade. I slipped in quietly, with little notice of the six and seven-year-olds in the room, grabbed a chair, and listened as Mrs. McCann began to read Itty Bitty Kitty Corn. 

The story is about a kitty and a unicorn, their friendship, and being exactly who you want to be. Mrs. McCann artfully read aloud, deftly redirecting her students throughout while dotting the story with thoughtful and meaningful questions. Her questions elicited such responses as "You can't judge a book by its cover," "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," and "That really wasn't nice." There is so much wisdom in those little bodies. 

Our brains are wired to see and notice differences. I distinctly remember the four-quadrant segment on Sesame Street and the song that went with it, which of these kids is doing their own thing. Identifying differences is one thing. Attaching a value, or in some cases, devaluing others because of those differences is entirely something else. When we do that, we put a label on being "other," and in subtle, and often not-so-subtle ways, use that as the defining factor to disengage, to overlook, and to ostracize. 

Yes, this is a first-grade story. Yes, it is a simple concept. Yes, there are other considerations we have as adults. And there's a life lesson that we could all use right now. 

As adults, we are putting too much emphasis on differences and not enough on what unites us. As adults, we are putting too much into what the "other" is doing wrong and ignoring our own missteps. As adults, we are criticizing those who do not agree with us and not taking the opportunity to show human decency. 

In gratitude to Ray Proulx (my mentor), Mrs. McCann, and most of all, her Frenchtown first graders for reminding me to be a better human. 

Photo courtesy of www.quotefancy.com

Learning to Learn

I was listening to a podcast recently, and Ann Hornaday was being interviewed. Ms. Hornaday is the chief film critic of the Washington Post. She was asked if this was something she aspired to when she was younger. Like many of us, myself included, her path to her current position was not a straight line. 

Ms. Hornaday talked about how in the 1980s, she was a freelance journalist when the beginnings of pop culture outlets were just starting, and she was hired by the New York Times in the Arts and Leisure section doing features, not reviews. She did some book reviews for The Times but had yet to have the opportunity to do a review of a film. Several years later, she was hired by the Austin American-Statesman and had her first opportunity to write critically about the movie "To Die For." 

Ms. Hornaday connected with David Friedman, then a TV critic for Philadelphia Daily News, as someone who had also moved from being a general assignment reporter to a critic. Mr. Friedman gave her the advice that helped her start her career. "I'm going to give you the same advice someone gave me when I started, which is, anytime you do a review, ask yourself three questions. What was the artist trying to achieve? Did they achieve it? Was it worth doing?" Those three questions helped launch Ms. Hornaday's career, which includes the Baltimore Sun and, since 2002, The Washington Post. 

In reflecting on her start as a critic, she also mentioned the following, which I absolutely loved: "One of my great gifts in life was, not only my college education but my high school, was learning how to learn. If you don't know something, if you're not an expert in something, go find out how to do it, or ask the right people..." That resonated with me on many levels, as a person and as a superintendent. We want our students to learn how to learn and to understand that it is a process that takes place far beyond the walls of our schools and well beyond the years of formal education. 

Yes, there are RICAS scores. Yes, there are SAT scores. Yes, we grade and evaluate assignments. But there is so much more to learning than just the outcome. 

Sure, we have the internet, and you can use Google to ask how I can become a movie critic. While the first four hits are all ads, there is a step-by-step process outlined. There are images of famous movie critics and website hits that will take you to film schools, indeed.com, and writing colleges and universities worldwide. I'm sure that some of them are valuable and will put you on the path to becoming a film critic, and still, there is so much to be gained in the process of learning that goes well beyond Google (or your favorite internet search engine). 

We place too much emphasis on the grade/outcome/score and not enough on the process of learning itself. And this is not just in East Greenwich. It happened to me. In high school, it took me three tries to break 1000 on the SAT, which was back in the late 80s when there were only two sections. My college counselor told me that I ought to rethink the six colleges I was applying to as, given my SAT scores, I probably would not get into them. I did get into all six, and as I look back on my life, my SAT scores are merely a blip on the radar, the actual score I don't even remember. 

We want students to get good grades to get into a good college. We want students to get good college grades and a good job. Then what happens at their job? Do we want them to do well only for the job performance rating? I don't do my work as a Superintendent solely for the evaluation by the School Committee. And I can proudly say that in twenty years in leadership, I've never looked beyond validating a transcript when considering a potential employee. For example, I've not once looked at a potential employee's grades in an undergraduate or graduate school subject to evaluate whether or not they're the right person for a position. I want to know if the transcript is legitimate, and that is all. 

When hiring someone, I want a team player who will collaborate on problem-solving, have strong interpersonal skills, and above all, grow and learn with us. I want someone who will put students first and collaborate with others in the building. I want someone who will be honest about shortcomings and humble about strengths. I want someone with the professional confidence necessary to be a part of the East Greenwich Public Schools and open to growth. 

I want lifelong learners. Our students, our adults, and our community. We are all still learning. 

Photo courtesy of www.gettingsmart.com

A Fresh Start

We have turned the calendar to 2023. Our holiday season is behind us, which is honestly bittersweet. There was so much anticipation for our family as we traveled to see little cousins who still believed in the "magic" of the end of December. While my heart yearns at times for those moments in our home, it fills me with joy to see Our Boys make sure the traditions of our family's holiday live on. 

I'm not one for resolutions at the new year because, in forty-eight years on the planet, I've yet to find one that I can stick with for the entire year. Instead, I approach the new year with a unique perspective in a new way. The new year is a time for new beginnings and a different view of what we've done in the past. 

I was listening to a podcast recently, and Martin Sheen was being interviewed. Mr. Sheen has played various roles as an actor, but for me, his role as President Josiah Bartlet in the television series The West Wing inspired me the most. During the course of the interview, Mr. Sheen touched on a great deal about what was unique for him and the other actors on the set of The West Wing. What spoke to me most was when he said that everyone, not just the actors but the writers, directors, producers, and the entire crew did their work "with grace, humor, and confidence, putting relationships above all else." 

If that worked in television, I could not think of a better way to approach our work in education. We need grace: the reality of the past three years in education (and our world) has touched all of us somehow. We have all been impacted and continue to feel how COVID has disrupted our worlds, personally and professionally. Giving others grace honors that reality for students and for adults. 

We need humor: for me, this is simple; I take my work seriously, but I don't take myself seriously. I love laughing with others and not at them. Already I have had moments in East Greenwich that have been highlighted by lots and lots of laughter. These moments have happened in classrooms, offices, meetings, and hallways. They've happened with students, adults, employees, School Committee Members, Town Councilors, and community members. Humor dotting the landscape of East Greenwich Public Schools is good for everyone. 

We need confidence, and given some of the national discourse around public education, some educators and employees in education may feel discouraged. The guiding principle in EGPS is "All Means All," with no exceptions. I'm proud of the educators I inherited when I joined EG in July. I'm proud of the educators we've hired since I've been serving as Superintendent of Schools. We have the employees with the necessary expertise to teach and learn with our students and families as we look forward. 

As far as putting relationships above all else, I am proud to do that. It's how I approach my work. It's something I want us all to do. To be clear, this is not about being "soft" or lowering expectations. It is about realizing that people are doing the work in East Greenwich. Teachers, paraeducators, facilities, technology personnel, administrative assistants, and food service personnel. Every one of them is something more than their role in EG, and they bring all of themselves to this work. When we put relationships first, we are honoring the person before their professional role. 

As we ring in the new year, I hope Martin Sheen's words can become a reality for us in East Greenwich Public Schools. We have a chance to make a fresh start, with more than one hundred days left in this school year. Grace, humor, confidence and putting relationships above all else. Wise words from a fictional president!

Photo courtesy of www.tapinto.net