You Are Who You Are

When I was growing up, my parents had a set of yellow napkins that they saved, only for when we were eating at the dining room table. They were cloth napkins, not disposable, and we used them only when others came over to eat with us. We used disposable napkins when we ate at our breakfast table (where we had nearly every meal without guests). 

The reason I have such a specific memory of those napkins is because once, when our cousins were over for dinner, one of them helped me make a penalty flag with a yellow cloth napkin. Yes - a penalty flag, the ones used by football officials. A quick google search in 2021 yields the following eight options at the top of the page: 

However, no such internet existed in the early eighties when I was in elementary school, and more interested in the officials when I watched professional sports. Don't worry, I still knew all the names of my favorite Yankee, Giant, Ranger, and Knick players (and I still do). And I also knew the names of my favorite officials in each of the sports. For baseball, it was umpire Joe Brinkman, football it was referee Jerry Markbreit, hockey it was referee Kerry Fraser, and in basketball, it was referee Jake O'Donnell. 

I was not the best athlete growing up. I was good, and I played basketball and baseball. I was on my high school's junior varsity teams for both, but I didn't advance. I never made an all-star team, nor a traveling team. I didn't feel snubbed in any way. I knew the limits of my athletic ability, and I was not gifted in that way. But I did have an interest in officiating. So I pursued that. 

I started with the homemade penalty flag with pickup football games with my friends. I would play in the games, but sometimes I officiated. How could you argue with someone who comes to a neighborhood football game with a whistle around his neck and a legitimate-looking penalty flag? 

I took more of a serious approach after both my baseball and my basketball playing days were over. I started to umpire Little League baseball while in high school and eventually intra-mural basketball when I was in college. I continued to hone my skills on both the court and the baseball diamond, studying the rules of each level I was officiating. I bought my own equipment and made the time to honor my passion. 

Ironically, I've never stepped onto a football field as an official, despite the hard work I put in on the random fields of Mt. Vernon, NY as a ten-year-old amateur official with my friends. There is still time, but currently, I officiate high school basketball through Vermont's International Association of Approved Basketball Officials, Board 105. Our season is just around the corner. 

From time to time, I do think about what would have happened if I had more athletic ability. But I also know that we are in desperate need of officials at all levels of sports, and I take a lot of pride in the work I do as a referee and an umpire, as do my fellow officials. Our hope is always that we are rarely noticed and that the game never comes down to an official's call. 

I do think about the what-ifs. But I also know that I love being an official, and I would not trade it, even if offered the opportunity to be an athlete. It's how I contribute to the games that I love. 

And it's who I am. 

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