I've been thinking a lot about empathy lately - and I'm not 100% sure why. I know there is a substantial lack of it in our world currently, which is troubling because now we might need it more than ever. I can't quite put my finger on the reasons why this time in our world is pulling us further and further apart rather than bringing us together.
Yes - I can clearly see the political divisions. Sadly, this has also eroded our confidence in the science of this virus that continues to make its way through our state. In addition, we are being asked to stay physically distant from each other so that this insidious disease stays at bay while we await a vaccine that hopefully will begin to turn the tide on rising case counts, slow the positivity rate, and stop people from dying.
One of the things I see almost everyone struggling with, besides day-to-day living, is something I heard described as "decision fatigue." It impacts everyone, regardless of who you are or what you do. I offer the following anonymous examples to consider:
Think about the single parent, with a child in a hybrid model, hoping to find an affordable daycare option still, for the days her children are learning from home. If she sends her children to a neighbor who has offered, how much of a risk are they taking when they both violate the ban against multi-household gatherings?
Think about the aging senior citizen, lonely from the isolation of the past nine months, longing to see her family in person, to give and to receive a hug. If she fails to quarantine for the full fourteen days to make the holiday celebration work, who is most at risk when they finally see each other?
Think about the teacher, struggling under the weight of illogical public expectations during this pandemic. She hears that over the weekend, one of her students has traveled out of state to see extended family, that another has had a sleepover with friends, and still another has had a playdate with someone outside of their pod. What does she do with this information?
Think about the principal, watching and feeling the morale fall in her building. Despite taking everything that is not required off of the teachers' plates, there is still a palpable, tense feeling in the hallways. How can she meet the needs of the people in the building going forward?
Think about the superintendent, trying to delicately balance the need to protect public health for students, teachers, and community members. While she is confident there are no school transmission cases yet, she worries about the upcoming Winter Holiday break and how to address what a return to school in January should look like. How can she keep everyone safe and healthy?
Think about the governor, seeing the state she loves struggle to find a way through this dire time. For the first time in her leadership, public health takes priority over anything else. Yet, segments of the population choose not to follow the directives designed to slow the spread, but that also impact the economic well-being of the citizenry. How can she balance human fragility with economic reality?
Each of these individuals is trying to be brave while at the same time meeting the needs of the people they are responsible for and to. Each of these individuals wants to make the best decision that balances freedom with public health. Each of these individuals struggles with the guilt and worries about the shame resulting from whatever decision is made.
We are not immune to this. We all have families. We all care deeply. We all want to do what is right for our family and the people we are responsible for. But because of the nature of this virus, our decisions impact others.
In the same way that this virus does not discriminate which human being it invades, nor does the weight of these decisions discriminate what heart it troubles. We are all struggling with this. We are all wondering how best to move forward. We really are in this together.
If we can reflect on this for just a moment, perhaps we can give each other what I believe would be the greatest gift this 2020 holiday season.
We could give each other our empathy.
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