I Had the Hard Conversation

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about The Power of And, a direct result of the professional development I took part in with Jennifer Abrams. Little did I know that weeks later, I would have the opportunity to put my learning and writing into action.

I was walking from my office over to the school close to the end of the school day. At St. Johnsbury, like many schools, parking is an issue, particularly at the beginning and at the end of the day. It's something that I'm aware of, and while we have not dedicated the human being hours to a study of ways to better the situation, I try to be mindful of it. On this particular February afternoon, I noted a full circle of parked cars and an individual parked in one of our three spaces reserved for people who have disabilities.

As I approached the vehicle, I could not see a visible disability parking permit. The window was down, and even as I got closer, there was nothing that I could see that gave this vehicle permission to be in the parking spot. This would be a very delicate conversation, as I am well aware that many, many disabilities are not visible or apparent to an observer. Still, I could not see a disability permit, and I believed it was essential to at least ask the question.

When I got near the driver, I took a deep breath and began the conversation.

"Sir, are you aware that this spot is reserved for people with disabilities?"

"Yes, I am," he said. He then turned toward the console between the front seats and produced a Vermont disability parking permit. My heart sank. 

"I sincerely apologize - I'm sorry to bother you," I responded. 

"No, no, not at all, young man. I'm actually glad you asked. I often come here to pick up in the afternoon and am surprised because all these spots are often filled, with no one in the car, and no sticker visible." 

"That's kind of you to say," I responded. "I appreciate you making this a learning experience for me."

"Thank you. I hope you ask everyone," he said. 

"I will," I promised. 

Now, I am not naive enough to think that every hard conversation is going to go this well. I'm reasonably sure that at some afternoon in the future, someone will need to move their vehicle. I also am relatively confident that that particular conversation probably will not be as cordial, nor go nearly as smoothly.

And I'm practicing for that too.

Photo courtesy of www.me.me