Letting Go

I am just returning to work after taking a medical leave to care for My Wife.  What was expected to be a routine surgery turned into something much scarier and much more serious.  Instead of one surgery, My Wife needed three.  Instead of recuperating from the original surgery and returning to her full time job two weeks ago, she needs to stay at home to continue to recover and is unable to drive.  There isn't much in the past six weeks I wish would never have happened, except for the fact that I've learned the value in letting go. 

There's been a great deal that I've had to let go of because it was simply out of my control.  Three times I hurriedly kissed My Wife, while she was laying on a stretcher about to be wheeled into an operating room.

I've relied on numerous friends and family members to care for Our Children - not always having the time to share details about when to take asthma medicine, what the bedtime routine looks like, and what's appropriate for them to watch on TV.

Dinners have arrived at our house two or three times a week, without any specifics about what Our Children do or don't eat.

During the February vacation, people came by and picked Our Children up and kept them for the entire day.  They returned home happy, with full bellies, and completely tired from all the fun they had.

These past weeks have been a lesson in letting go.  Aside from some truly terrifying moments, the act of letting go was liberating.  The sun rose the following morning, Our Children demonstrated a phenomenal capacity to learn and grow with this medical journey that we are on, and I felt surrounded by a work community and a personal community that embraced our struggle. 

Even though it's not something I'm used to, and I hope the reasons for it don't ever repeat themselves, I grew so much from letting go. 

This morning, some beautiful flowers arrived at my office from My Family, thanking my Work Family for all their love and support

The note reads: Thank you all for letting us borrow Dr. Ricca for so long. I know his absence was felt and your kind words meant a great deal to all of us. Love, Michal, Patrick & Brendan