It's Not Either/Or. It's Both/And.

During the Winter Holiday break, my family and I binged the ten episodes of "Beef." The Netflix mini-series is about a road rage incident that grows into a prolonged fight that entangles two families. It was indeed a challenging show to watch, and yet it brought some hard truths into focus. Some gruesome moments are difficult to see, and there are scenes with intense vulnerability and human connection. 

It's early into the award season for TV shows and movies, but still, "Beef" won six Emmys. During his acceptance speech, Steven Yeun, who earned the Lead Actor award for his portrayal of Danny Cho, said the following; 

"Judgment and shame are a lonely place. Compassion and grace is where we all can meet." 

I have observed that sometimes, in education, we are reluctant to embrace both/and and prefer either/or. I can speak for myself as a classroom teacher; it was a shortcoming in my professional practice until I got feedback from one of my mentor teachers early on in my educational career. A woman, by the name of Loretta Jene (whom we nicknamed Yoda because of her size and her wisdom) asked me during my second year of teaching, "Mr. Ricca, why can't it be both?" I don't even remember what we were discussing, but my educational perspective changed that day. 

We can be forward thinking, and use worksheets. 

We can hold high standards, and have empathy. 

We can expect a great deal, and still scaffold the way forward together. 

Either/or thinking results in judgment and shame. Both/and thinking bring forth compassion and grace. As I've written many times in this very space, we need more compassion. We need more grace. Our work is about relationships. That's it. That's the list. 

East Greenwich Public Schools are a safe place for all of us to come and meet. The strategic plan, entitled "All Means All," specifically welcomes every single learner, young and old, to our community of teaching and learning, spread across six school buildings, and the district office. You need not be perfect. You need only to bring an open mind and an open heart. 

My commitment to our students is that EGPS will be a place that is safe, welcoming, and inclusive so that every student can grow to his or her potential, with the courage to make mistakes. For our adults, I commit to providing the tools they need to be their best professional selves, in service to their students, colleagues, and families. I cannot do that with judgement and shame. I can only do that with compassion and grace. 

More than twenty six years ago, Loretta Jene asked me, "Mr. Ricca, why can't it be both?" The truth of the matter is, not only can it be, it's how it should be. 

Both/and. 

Photo courtesy of www.socialworker.com

An Act of Service

As a Superintendent, several years ago, I started keeping track of the days of the school year. Using a social media platform, I schedule a quote to be posted at 7:00 AM every day of teaching and learning. My hope is that the quote is inspirational or thought-provoking in some way. This past week, the Executive Director of the Rhode Island School Superintendents Association, Thomas DiPaola, shared that he enjoyed these daily posts. I also have to be candid, he wanted me to remind everyone of the number of days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training for the Yankees. That number as of today is 25. He, too, is a Yankees fan!

As a result of this exchange, I looked at some of my posts for this week. This one caught my attention: 

I've been a fan of Simon Sinek for a long time, as I resonate with and am grateful for his insights into leadership. This quote is beautiful. This is one of the lessons I've learned in leadership, albeit sometimes the hard way. 

A lot of this has fallen on my shoulders along the lines of my gender. There are a few sayings I've heard through the course of my forty-nine years on this planet: 

• Boys will be boys
• Don't show them you care
• Real men don't cry
• Never ask for help

Since we've got a baseball theme going already, I'm 0 for 4 on all these sayings. I don't believe in any of them. They're in no way helpful, no matter what your gender is. 

The thing is, and there's no escaping it, when it comes to help, you have to ask for it. I first met My Wife in 1999, we started dating in 2000, and this coming June, we will celebrate twenty years of marriage. For sure, I know that one of the ways I can make a mistake in my marriage is to try to read her mind. If I can't read the mind of the person, there's no way that I can read the mind of anyone else. In exactly the same way, I cannot expect anyone, including My Wife, to be able to read my mind. 

With that as the starting point, I expect people to ask for help. I expect it in my personal life. I expect it in my professional life. I expect to do it myself. I know I can't do it alone, anywhere in my life. 

Beyond the expectation, I want people to ask for help. We can't do the work of education, let alone the work of living, by ourselves. Our lives are in no way perfect. Thus, our teaching and learning will in no way be perfect, and our relationships with each other are what make the difference. 

EGPS is a safe place to ask for help. It's a place where we treat each other with respect. It's a place where it's OK to not be OK. Please just talk to us. 

Give us the honor of being there to support you. It's one we take very, very seriously. 

How Do They Do That?

When I was growing up, there was magic when we would listen to the radio to hear if we had a snow day or a delay. We would wake up early, grab a portable radio, and listen to the broadcaster go through every school in lower Westchester County, New York. The hope was that we would hear, "Mt. Vernon Public Schools, closed!" If we missed our town the first time, we would have to listen to the entire list again. How did it happen? Who made the decision? How was the decision made? 

As I've moved along through my educational leadership, a lot of the mystery has made itself clear. There's less "magic" for me and more of a decision-making process I go through as Superintendent of Schools. Clearly, there are no more transistor radios, with students huddled together under blankets, hoping to hear the name of their school district. Now, it's automated. I record one voicemail message. I type one short text message. I write a more extended e-mail. With the push of one button, I can reach out to our entire school community. 

In the interest of transparency, I am sharing some insight into how we make decisions about delays and cancellations when inclement weather occurs. When we know there is snow on the ground, we contact the Town of East Greenwich Department of Public Works to ask for an update. They will share up-to-the-minute information on the current conditions and, if possible, the timetable to address any known issues. We will decide at that point using this information and the forecast for the remainder of the day. That is a much cleaner and easier circumstance than what occurred last week. 

In the case of last Wednesday, January 10, when the weather event was not snow falling or already on the ground but heavy rain, wind, and melting snow. I was prepared to hear that schools did not have power, especially given what happened when we had another rough storm in November. When I talked with our Director of Facilities, Robert Wilmarth, a little before 5:00 AM, I was happy to hear that our schools were ready and all had power. 

We get information from our partners in DPW on days like Wednesday if trees are down, and they always let us know if there's flooding. On this particular day, that information came to us after 6:45 AM, and because we have to notify our bus company of any changes in status by 6:30 AM at the latest, it was too late to call for a delay. 

It wasn't through any fault of DPW. The flooding occurred when the streams overflowed, and that took place after we could inform the bus company. This was simply poor timing. 

I'm truly grateful for our partnerships with the Town of East Greenwich that help us make these difficult decisions when we have challenging weather conditions. I hope this helps our community better understand why we handled the events of last week in the manner we did, with the information we had at the time. 

My best guess at the future forecast is that there will still be a little magic this winter in East Greenwich!

Photo courtesy of www.nataliecramer.com

It's Not About the Grades

I pushed the remote that moved my PowerPoint presentation to the final slide, which said, "Thank You." I exhaled, more than likely audibly. My dissertation defense was complete. I looked at my committee, which comprised three of my professors from the School of Education at Loyola University Chicago. Now, the questions would begin. 

Somewhere between forty-five and sixty minutes later, I can't remember exactly, my dissertation Chair, Dr. Marla Israel, looked at her colleagues Dr. Janis Fine and Dr. Theresa Fournier. They nodded to Dr. Israel, who asked my family, two dear friends, and me to leave the room. We filed into the hall and waited while these three women discussed my presentation and responses to their questions. 

It was nerve-wracking, to say the least. I had poured hours and hours into this work. It was a commitment of our entire family. My Wife would push me downstairs to the basement, immediately after dinner, to my home office. I had promised myself and my children (then four and two) that I would never say, "Daddy can't play with you now. He has to work on his dissertation." Thanks to My Wife's parenting generosity, I kept that promise. 

I couldn't stand still in the hallway. I paced back and forth and, at times, peeked into the room. But I could not see my committee. I hoped the conversation was positive, but I had no way of knowing what they were talking about. 

As I continued to pace, I heard someone say, "Dr. Israel is coming," and sure enough, the door opened, and she walked through it. As she approached me, Dr. Israel extended her right hand to me and said, "Congratulations. Dr. Ricca." I shook her hand, and she pulled me in for a hug. I passed my dissertation defense!

I passed my dissertation defense. I did not earn a grade. How is that possible? 

This was, by far, the most academic work I've ever done. I began my coursework in the fall of 2004, well before my graduation date in 2011. For several semesters, the only course listed on my transcript was "Dissertation Supervision" while I was writing chapters. I would write a chapter, or in some cases, part of a chapter, send it to Dr. Israel, and she would send back edits. We would follow this pattern until we both agreed the chapter was complete. 

The reason dissertations are a pass/fail endeavor is simple. Despite the years of research, family sacrifice, and effort, it's about the learning. It's not about the grade. 

As presented to me by Dr. Israel, a dissertation is about standing on the shoulders of others or carving out a niche that others have yet to fully explore. My dissertation examined the relationships between male early elementary educators and their building administrators. As a former first-grade teacher and someone who grew to a leadership position in education, I saw possibilities to explore. Since I was creating a new space for educational research, none of the members of my dissertation committee were experts in this area. I was the expert in the room. 

As we return from the Winter Holiday Break, we have almost sixty percent of our teaching and learning time together this year with our students. I hope that we can prioritize learning over grades. Grades are important and have their place, and I feel we place too much emphasis on them. Get good grades in middle school to be sure you can take the right classes in high school. Get good grades in high school to be sure you can get into a good college. Get good grades in college... finish that sentence? 

My report cards are tucked away in a shoebox in my parents' attic. It took me three tries to get a 1040 on my SAT, back when there were only two sections. I have been happily married for almost twenty years, and I have two children who bring me pride and joy. I have a job that doesn't feel like work. 

It's not about the grades.