It's the Little Things

I'm just as guilty of this as the next person. Looking around for the "big moments." Trying to capture something "huge." This week, I was fortunate to notice two little things that made a big difference in the lives of people in East Greenwich Public Schools. 

A relatively large number of people had gathered for a meeting at one of our buildings when one of our staff members needed to step out to take a call. The call was from this staff member's child to tell their parent some disappointing news. That staff member returned to the meeting with tears in their eyes because, as any parent knows, you're only as happy as your least happy child. When we inquired and heard what had transpired, we quickly realized there was nothing we could do but extend our compassion, empathy, and kind words to this individual. 

There were no grand gestures. There was nothing dramatic. We empathized as parents, sympathized as humans, and expressed that to this staff member. I was proud to see so much kindness from the people in that room. I awoke the next day to the following text message from that staff member: 

I immediately thought to myself, I didn't do anything. And it was only upon reflection that I realized I was a part of the community of people in that room who reached out to comfort a colleague. We couldn't make it better. We could not fix it. And still, what we did, made a difference. 

The second moment took place in that same meeting. A different staff member was being praised for their work at their building by multiple people. The theme was recurring, and it slowly became clear that the staff member was uncomfortable with all the praise. At one point, the staff member muttered, "Please stop it. I'm just doing my job." A colleague at the table, who was also sharing compliments, nudged the too-embarrassed individual and said, "Hey, you earned them." 

There's a sense among educators that we have to be humble all the time. We can't take credit. We can't celebrate. We have to make it about others. I've done that myself. Brene Brown talks about this in her book Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts: 

"We don't want our employees to get too excited because there's still so much work to be done. We don't want them to take their foot off the gas, to get complacent. So we don't celebrate achievements. We think we'll do it someday, but these same factors persist in the wake of joy. This is how foreboding joy shows up at [school], and it's a costly mistake." 

I've been in education for twenty-six years, and in all of those years, I've not seen a celebration cause complacency once. Not once. Not one single time. Kudos to the staff member that encouraged their colleague to bask in the glow of deserving compliments. 

Education is such a personal endeavor. Teachers pour their entire selves into their lessons, assessments, and interactions. Paraeducators develop relationships with our children, ensuring they can have full access to the excellent education East Greenwich provides to them. Staff members answer phones, pay bills, sweep floors, feed children, and lead departments and buildings. We bring our whole selves to the work that we do every day. 

I'm proud to have seen the best of East Greenwich in less than fifteen minutes. I saw staff members reach out to comfort a colleague and a colleague push another into the spotlight to celebrate. It's just another way that All Means All in the East Greenwich Public Schools. 

Who Do You Appreciate?

In the months following Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death, much was made of her deep friendship with Justice Antonin Scalia. To be fair, the same was done in the months following Scalia's death as well. The two could not be further apart on the ideological spectrum, yet their well-documented friendship stood the test of time and the politics surrounding the Supreme Court. 

It was an open secret that Scalia would send Ginsburg his opinions in advance, and once she noted because of reading one of those opinions, "He [Scalia] absolutely ruined my weekend." It was also well known that Scalia would send Ginsburg two dozen flowers on her birthday. Judge Jeffrey Sutton, a former clerk to Scalia, remembers asking of the Supreme Court Justice, "What good have all these roses done for you? Name one five-four case of any significance where you got Justice Ginsburg's vote." To which Scalia replied, "Some things are more important than votes." 

I was reminded of this relationship earlier this week when I saw this tweet from Eric Bradner from CNN. Current Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor was giving a talk in Chicago at Roosevelt University. She was asked how she maintains relationships with judges she disagrees with, particularly Clarence Thomas. This was her response: 

To be fair, I have no idea what Justice Thomas would say of his relationship with Justice Sotomayor, but based on what she shares about Justice Thomas' relationships with others, it's reasonable to wonder if he thinks similarly her. There is much we can learn, and emulate from these four justices, who sat and sit, on the highest court in our country. In this instance, it has nothing to do with the law. 

The examples shared demonstrate that the relationships between these justices were forged on respect and love, that went beyond their legal opinions and perspectives. It showed how despite their differences, they built relationships based on the person, not the ideas the person holds. These four human beings are finding ways to connect, despite not agreeing on everything. That is a life lesson that we desperately need in 2022. 

On Monday, October 17, Nicholas Rath, Chair of the Science Department at East Greenwich High School invited me to speak to his class of Advanced Placement Environmental Science students. He asked me to talk about my ideas around leadership, as the students will be holding their own version of the Conference of Parties (COP) Conference. This November, the Egyptian Government will host the COP 27 Conference to build on previous successes and find more ways to address global climate change. Given that climate change, like many other issues has been heavily politicized, one of the ideas I offered to the AP students was that as leaders, we need to lean into the grey. 

Too often issues become black or white, right or wrong, Republican or Democrat. When that happens, we often dismiss the person who hold those ideas in that black or white, all or nothing view. We lose the perspective that it is a person who has those views. A person. A human being. Someone who laughs when something is funny. Someone who cries when something is sad. Someone who when their skin is cut, they bleed. Just like you and me. 

Leaders must lean into the grey, and learn from these esteemed members of the United States Supreme Court to build relationships based on respect, love, and appreciation for those who see the world differently than we do. Educators must lean into the grey, so that we can teach our students to lean into the grey. Slowly, one relationship at a time, we must begin to slow the polarization that is creeping further and further into our world. 

Who do you appreciate, that sees the world differently than you do? 

Photo courtesy of www.karstennoack.com

Mistakes Happen

This past week, one staff member copied me on an e-mail to another staff member, in which they admitted they had made a mistake. They blew it. Completely missed the mark. 

I celebrate that e-mail. 

We make mistakes. Every single day. In our personal lives. In our professional world. Mistakes are a part of life. Consider this graphic: 

Photo courtesy www.drlizcarter.com

Success is perceived as a straight line. We know better. Success includes pauses, resets, full stops, and restarts. We all know the graphic on the right is so much more accurate. 

In the e-mail, this staff member owned their mistake, made amends, and offered to take steps to fix the problem. Isn't that precisely what we ask of our students? Isn't that precisely what we ask of our own children? Isn't that precisely what we ask in any relationship we are a part of? 

Mistakes are how we learn. It's true. Some are harder to fix than others, but it is a fact that rarely, if ever, will we go through the learning process and not make a mistake. The East Greenwich Public Schools are home to the learning process, and so much learning happens outside of our six schools. Learning occurs on the weekend, at the dinner table, on family vacations, in the car, and in any of the myriad moments away from our schools. 

I am grateful for the thorough process I underwent to earn this position in East Greenwich. In one of the sessions, I was asked about something I wish I could have done differently in my educational career. I shared the story of when I was a baby teacher on the Near West Side of Chicago and how I utterly overreacted to one of my kiddos not completing their homework. It was a complete overreaction. I am not proud of who I was that day. 

When I finished retelling this story, my message to the School Committee was this: I didn't make that same mistake again. I made mistakes. I make mistakes. I will make mistakes. That's all a part of the learning process. I aim to not make the same mistake twice. 

I am proud to serve in a community where people name their mistakes. It's what excellent educators do. It's how we all learn. 

And it feels like home. 

Photo courtesy of www.unicornjazz.com

An Ordinary Interaction

I've been on Twitter since 2011, when I began my first superintendency. It's been some of the best professional development I've had from the comfort of my own home. As one of my former colleagues noted, "Twitter is about connecting with people based on the merit of the idea." While it can be a rabbit hole, if you're thoughtful and careful, it is a fantastic way to grow and be in the world. Case in point last week, in this reply to someone who has no idea who I am: 

When I read the initial tweet from National Public Radio's Scott Simon, I immediately remembered Nancy, the crossing guard on the corner of the street where I grew up in Mt. Vernon, New York. I didn't even need to cross the street, but almost every morning of elementary school, I was on the corner talking with her. Somewhere in the boxes of our basement is a picture of me and her - I desperately tried to find it for this post, but alas, I could not. 

Last spring, I had the chance to learn with Dr. Junlei Li, from the Graduate School of Education at Harvard University. Dr. Li is inspired by the legendary Fred Rogers, and as such he is "committed to understanding and supporting the work of helpers - those who serve children and families on the frontlines of education and social service." He shared with us that after decades of research on resilience, the single most common finding is that children who end up doing well have had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult. 

The title of Dr. Li's presentation was "More Than Just One Thing: Appreciating the Power of Simple, Ordinary Interactions." As a part of his team's work, they studied the interactions children had with all people in their world, including crossing guards. On a street corner in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, they recorded the daily moments between a crossing guard and the young people in that neighborhood. It was inspiring. 

This crossing guard called every child by name. She mentioned if she noticed a new hair cut. She asked about parents or siblings. There was something different but personal about the way she connected with each child as they crossed the street, safely together. The longest interaction Dr. Li's team recorded was twelve seconds. 

Twelve seconds. Two tenths of one minute. A fraction of a moment. An ordinary interaction. 

While I reflected on this tweet, and the idea for this blog post began to ruminate in my mind, I recalled one of the things that drew me to East Greenwich. On the day that I spent visiting schools in this district in April, I was escorted through the buildings by each principal. While walking around, and a child crossed our path, every principal greeted every one of them by name. 

Every single child. A fraction of a moment. An ordinary interaction. 

So Mr. Simon, that eight year old boy, son of someone in a nail salon you pass most days. You wave. You play hide and seek behind your hands. You high-five. You sneak him cookies. He giggles. When he's grown up, and a scientist, banker, teacher, or poet, he will remember you. 

Beecause of those ordinary interactions. 

Photo Courtesy of www.schoollibraryjournal.com

Who Gets Credit?

During my final interview in East Greenwich, I was surrounded by several district-level folks. After answering the interview questions from the School Committee, the committee members opened it up to the other people at the table. One of them was put on the spot when a School Committee member asked: "Do you have any questions for our candidate?" After a moment's pause, this individual said, "What do you want from the person in my role?" To be fair, I'm not naming the individual or the role.

I thought about it for a moment. "Your best ideas for how to move East Greenwich forward." The individual looked at me, puzzled, as it is a non-educational role but still critical to our operations. The truth is, I have no idea where the next best idea for East Greenwich is going to come from. 

In my experience, we too often think about schools and departments as silos. Perhaps it comes from the fact that as we go further up in our educational journey, we see more specialized content. Perhaps it's just a fixture of education. Perhaps we can change that thinking. 

In a meeting with East Greenwich Town Manager Andy Nota this week, he shared with me that there are eleven other departments that are a part of the town. We are one of eleven - granted, I think very highly of our department, and I'm humbled to stand on the shoulders of those who have come before me in East Greenwich. I also believe we have a very bright future, and it will take all of us to continue the academic excellence that our town is known for. 

Maybe the next great idea for East Greenwich will come from a teacher. Maybe it will come from a School Committee member. Maybe it will come from a community member. Maybe it will come from a student. I genuinely don't care where it comes from. I simply want it to come forward. 

Starting this month, I will be holding office hours at our schools and in our community. The ones in the schools will be for any employee in that building. The ones in the community will be for any member of the community. There will be some in person, and some held virtually. 

My door, phone, and e-mail inbox are all open. Feel welcome to reach out, and ask a question. I love coffee, a great deli sandwich, and the New York Yankees. We can talk about education, we can talk about sports, we can talk about who you are. 

I want to know the best way to move the East Greenwich Public Schools forward and to continue the beautiful relationships that lead to the academic excellence this community is known for. Do you have an idea about how to do that? 

I would love to hear from you and give you credit when we succeed!

Photo courtesy of Unicef